I’ve talked to a few people already who, despite their wishes and intentions for the new year, have already felt disappointment and the let down of the promise of a new start. Ahhh, January. A client of mine walked into a door, my son got whacked in the face with a milk carton (don’t ask) and then got a big angry splinter in his foot all within an hour’s time. And earlier in the week I was walking in circles. Quite literally, circles.
There is a reality at play here. I’m sure you’ve heard the term once or twice if you have a weird friend like me, warning that mercury is in retrograde or proclaiming that it’s a full moon. Mercury retrograde is a time when things feel “off” and backwards and difficult despite best efforts. It has just ended. Hurrah! And presently the full moon is indeed out!
These forces in the sky do affect our lives. It is freeing when you accept that many things are beyond our immediate control. This applies to resolutions as well. Although we ended last year with a new moon and a wonderful opportunity to put an intent to our goals and dreams, we have to understand that shifts happen in cycles. Life is not a straight line, it is more of an ebb and flow. If diet and exercise was on the top of your list, there may be a lot of you already feeling failure. But the thing is you are meant to fail. Kind of. You set the intention, you built an expectation for yourself and now you are two weeks in and exhausted and depleted. That is perfect. That is exactly where you should be! This is where the exciting work begins. Anytime I’ve made real changes in my life, I’ve been ready to do so with love and honor for myself. Bullying myself only ever led to failure. Trying to succeed on will power only led to failure. It is only when I fully honored it (the habit) for the role it served in my life that I was able to let it go. Done.
This is what the full moon gives us an opportunity to do. I was telling my friend that I was so excited to clean up my act on Tuesday. She asked, is it because Monday is your peaceful day? I said yes. Yes! January is like Monday. You can read that post here. They don’t want all that pressure. Can we approach January with honesty and humility and say, let’s see what we can make happen here instead of barking our fussy orders and making demands?
Just this morning at 6:34am the full moon is beautifully and energetically equipped to shine the light on our resolutions and promises that we didn’t keep. Maybe we just weren’t ready. Can we let this January full moon, the Wolf Moon, illuminate our deepest desires and from there begin to slowly release the things that are no longer working for us?
After I returned from an epic New Years vacation with my family, I felt so vulnerable. I cleaned my house top to bottom, had a major fight with my husband. Maybe you know the kind. The fight that I am not sure can be classified as a fight because one person (me) is the only one yelling, while the other (him) is doing his best to ignore and not engage, which makes me “fight” even more. I began my “new” year feeling run down, tired and overwhelmed. I was anxious and jumpy, then I realized I must slow down. I cannot push past whatever this is. The next morning I heard the news about the shooting in Fort Lauderdale airport that we had flown into just a week ago. I felt devastated and defeated all over.
But it was also a reset for me. Of gratitude. Of right now, in this moment, I am okay. I dusted off my juicer as a deliberate act of preparation. I ordered two new file cabinets and over the next few days I am finally going to sort through papers going as far back as my father’s motorcycle accident, twenty years ago. One cabinet for life’s stuff and the other strictly for my first book, my notes and inspiration and my dreams and ideas. These are steps that I had to do first and I didn’t even know that until I slowed way down. I haven’t abandoned my resolutions. I am just allowing for flow instead of fight.
We take so much care to be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. That doesn’t mean giving yourself excuses and permission not to prosper. See if you can let January feel sweet and easy. Settle into the ebb and flow and find your center. The beauty and clarity I find here always has an ethereal quality to it.
It’s a sort of surrender. I hope to be more playful in my own life and be true to who I am which I pray is an offering that is in line with my highest self and divine plan. Who am I when I don’t worry about how I am perceived or received? I am reminding myself that it doesn’t always have to feel so hard. Funny with life, when you’ve had so much loss, how we can begin to feel much more safe in our sadness than in our joy. So, I am going to swing more on my yoga swing (Christmas present to self) and reconnect to this body that carries this eternal spirit of mine.
And because it is important, I am mentioning it here. The full moon is a time for forgiveness. There is something poetic about the first full moon in January because in order to move forward with a clean slate we must release what we are holding too tightly. Who can you give your forgiveness to? What situation needs healing? It could be forgiving your beautiful self for the resolutions you thought you already broke. I hope that you realize that you are not broken.
I really would love to hear about your goals and practices for the new year and I hope you have a chance to look up tonight! The full moon will rise at 5:26pm. Enjoy!