I am a Libra. It’s a Libra full moon at 2:08am and I want to talk about relationships. There has been a major shift in my consciousness as a result of losing someone recently that I had a complex relationship with. I was able to say goodbye, make peace and reconcile some feelings that have been confusing and painful to me for many years. People have all sorts of roles to play out on the stage that is our life. Sometimes we get to make peace, let go, grow into understanding, or even walk away.
But what about the everyday relationship angst. What about the confusion in how to set that complex relationship right?
I am a wife and mother and sometimes these relationships are challenging to me. Everyday, buttons are being pushed all over the place. How is it that the people that I love the most make me feel so freaking crazy? How is it that in my most intimate relationship, I struggle so hard to be heard and understood? My way of coping in these situations is to talk. So I talk, sometimes I talk a lot. I talk about the things that upset me, and how I need things to change. And I do this quite often. Until now.
After an argument with my husband and the subsequent re-telling about how he hurt my feelings, my very wise friend suggested the theory that no one can make you “feel” any way you don’t want to. I quickly called foul on her, which is rare, because she has been the kindest kind of truth-teller since I met her so long ago. But still, I wasn’t having any of it. It is absurd to let someone off the hook that easily, especially when they have hurt me. I didn’t want to hear any nonsense about taking responsibility for someone else. No, sometimes he is a just a jerk and it makes me FEEL bad.
But I began noticing that feeling the “feels” doesn’t usually make the situation any better and pushing back against the behavior is only a temporary fix. So what does someone like me, who loves love and loves to feel good, do? How do I master control over others so that I am consistently feeling only the good feels? That is impossible. You can’t do that. That is obviously ludicrous, right? But I honestly don’t know if it was that obvious to me.
I now know that I can decide to step out of the energy if a particular situation doesn’t align with my end goal. I can decide to NOT ride out every trigger to the bitter end. I can choose to not make every hurt feeling a teaching moment. That good feeling that I am desperately trying to wrestle out of the other person, I can go ahead and give that feeling to myself. How freaking radical is that.
I am so tired of my long held belief that my feelings of well being, joy, or peace are dependent upon anything outside of myself. I have tired of being held hostage by conditions I cannot control. And I have also tired of holding others hostage with expectations that their behavior / words make me feel good. Of course, I hope it goes without saying that all of this is based on the premise of being in a loving and respectful partnership.
This Libra full moon has come to shine the light for me. If I change my need for my closest relationships to make me feel a certain way, then I now have incredible power in my life. If I focus on words or behaviors that displease me, and then talk about how those words and behaviors make me feel, I’ve put all this energy into a resolution and feel victorious and understood. Until the next time. Because there will ALWAYS be a next time! Because, people aren’t perfect all the time and this is the lesson that keeps repeating itself for me.
I was hiking yesterday and “feeling” annoyed that my husband didn’t seem happy and playful. My immediate impulse was to be snarky. What’s the matter with you? I wanted to taunt him. In other words, how dare your mood bring me down on this glorious day.
Then the words formed from somewhere deep inside of me. Instead of looking into what darkness in him is reflecting on you, look into what light you can reflect on him.
The Libra full moon asks us to look into where we can heal our relationships. Even the relationship with ourselves.
The message is to remind yourself of the beauty in life. This seems more timely than ever as the world at large seems to be struggling. I’ve had to limit Facebook, I am trying not to see the headlines that pop up on my phone. I can certainly be accused of not dealing in reality. But what about the reality of our well being? This world doesn’t owe us the conditions to feel good all the time. I think we’ve probably all learned that the hard way. Our children and husbands don’t owe us a constant stream of bliss and joy. But what do we owe to ourselves? In what ways can I be in alignment with my happiness. It’s a big question that I am so blessed has made its way into my world.
So, look up!
Enjoy the insights that the full moon brings into your life.
There is always beauty to be found here.
There is so much love here.
Give your big, bright and beautiful heart some peace.
Thanks for reading!