She was just waiting for me to open the door. So many long months of looking for her in the trees, longing for her. Knowing, KNOWING that she was waiting in sacred patience for me to come into heart wisdom. Doubting myself, allowing myself to be hooked again and again into turmoil that is not real and which does not belong to me.
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Today I experienced an initiation of massive trust. I felt her wings fluttering inside my entire being. As I drove home, up my hill she told me I never have to look for her again. She will always come. She is always with me.
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I walked inside my house feeling absolute peace and there out the window she was waiting for me. She was just waiting for me in the tree with her deep sight and radical presence. Pure love. Homecoming.
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Today I opened the heart door. An experience too beautiful to even process in this moment. I am honoring it here because so many of you are my Spirit family. I am Honoring all those who walk the path of Owl medicine. I am Honoring all the brave wise spirit warriors who do life differently, honestly. I am Honoring all those that still believe in wonder and awe. I am Honoring all those still willing to believe in pure love.
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#owlmedicine #hearthealing #animalguide #love #moreheartlessmind #magic #halloween #heartopening #opentheheartdoor #spiritguide #barredowl #givelove #purelove #itsreal #authenticity #thepath #samhain #theveilisthin #transformation #honoring #wings #ancestors #gratitude #wisdom
i’m happy...
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after a long week of being sad. the week of my birthday is also the week of her passing. every year it’s the same damn question. am I having an emotional breakdown? why am I so sad? yesterday I bought her roses and placed her photo on my altar and sobbed. I thought, how curious to think I should hold that in, the grief that speaks to such deep love. And I mean, the physical love. The laughter and the hugs and kisses, the eyerolls, the tears, our crazy weekly crossword competitions, the special birthday meals, the ordinary meals, the cups of tea at the kitchen table. not the, she is always with you in spirit love. because of course, yes. she is.
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so this morning I sit in epic beauty in my woods. thinking about her and how at this moment she was birthing me into this heartbreakingly beautiful existence. feeling gratitude for her and for mother earth for taking such good care of me since she left. closing my eyes and listening to the chorus of birds and the dancing trees. it is amazing. this life. how powerful, when we allow our hearts to be the container for devastating grief and overwhelming joy. What a gift to trust the heart so implicitly that I no longer even need to name the tears. ♥️ And everything just is! Big heart medicine!
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#shinrinyoku
Libra musings.
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As I honor Autumn Equinox and welcome Libra season, of course the conversation is about balance and the thing I struggle most with, duality. The duality in ourselves, the duality of the world. I’m so swept up in love at the stunning and sacred beauty of this life, and also paralyzed by the horrors of it. Sexual abuse of children, plastics in the ocean, the suffering, cruelty of so many of our fellow human beings, injustices, disregard for nature and the spirit world. And of course, my own life experiences. Too many last breaths I’ve sat with and still hearts I’ve carried. Trying to balance and resolve the duality of honoring my own trauma while being cognizant of the stunning blessings of my life.
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Well, the other day, Spirit told me I have been doing it all wrong! But I’m a Libra, I’m born for this! I’ve been putting two opposite things on each side of the scale and using brain power to even them out. Light on one side, dark on the other. Beauty on one side, horror on the other. Life on one side, death on the other. Love on one side, fear on the other. Healing on one side, trauma on the other. Spiritual on one side, physical on the other (although that one I’m pretty good at meshing). Then it occurred to me, it’s not the mind’s fault it fails to balance, it’s the heart that knows there aren’t two opposite side of the scale! Balance happens through the heart alchemy whose very life force pulses oneness. And our minds fight oneness. We are conditioned from day one to believe that we are separate. From Spirit. From nature. From each other. The complexity of life stumps the mind, but not the heart. The heart was made for this! TO LIVE! The heart threads with each beat an inexplicable truth. Life is poignant and magical and tragic and bittersweet and we can’t separate any of it out no matter how hard we try. As for the scales, I’m opening to the deeper truth of sacred balance. Just this. For now. ❤️
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#libraseason #heavenandearth #balance #oneness #sacredbalance #autumnequinox #fallseason #justthis #beherenow #tao #yinyang #bittersweet #spiritspeaks #ispeaktospirittoo #shadowwork #soulwork #live #love
Nature creates the most powerful art. It’s moments like these that I realize how close the otherworld is when I’m in the woods, especially when I allow myself to be open. Here I don’t need to know anything or become anything. I just am. Just me. With trees. Trees that are still vibrant and alive with bright green. Trees in transformation turning golden. And also dead trees that are so magical in their ability to morph into angels, birds and whales tails as their last symbolic gift to us. Are we looking? Do we notice?
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Because I think this is the first step to deep healing, for us, the trees, and for mother earth. She has held my heart so tenderly and continues to mother me in ways that are difficult to express. Hold her in return. Hold her in your gaze, in your heart. It is not silly to love her. It is natural. It is necessary. 🌎♥️
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#earthie #ilovetrees #treehugger #naturalworld #hikelife #naturelover #motherearth #divineearth #angels #birds #whalestail #wingedones #spiritanimals #gratitude #natureheals #walkinthewoods #woodlandcreature #birdlady #forestmagic #shinrinyoku
